I’m Chloe! I’m an artist, martial artist, and healer by nature. I love crystals, astrology, music, comedy, books/learning, animals, herbs. antiques, oils, plants, and the outdoors. I’ve been seeking all holistic means of wellness since November of 2015; mind, body, spirit. I love learning and sharing the importance of health with others, which is why I’m a certified health coach, certified in Plant-Based nutrition, and an ISOD certified detox specialist! To learn about my healing routine, click here, or go to "my healing routine" under "about me."
[**NOTE: THE FOLLOWING IS MOSTLY WRITTEN ABOUT MY PHYSICAL HEALTH IN FEB 2017 & HAS NOT BEEN UPDATED. THIS DOES NOT GET INTO SERIOUS C-PTSD & E.D. ABUSE, WHICH I AM CURRENTLY WORKING THRU UNRESOLVED TRAUMA**]
ABOUT MY YEARS WITH CHRONIC ILLNESS…
My journey in life has not been easy, but it's been filled with lessons of perseverance, and fighting against all odds. I was born with a some congenital defects: small hole in heart (PFO), MTHFR, a GI Tract mal-rotation, long QT syndrome (electrical heart problem). As a child, I was an asthmatic with severe allergies, and suffered greatly from OCD. At age 10, I was diagnosed with Lyme disease, and that’s kind of where my health nightmares really began. I was heavily treated for Lyme a total of 4 times over the last 15 years of my life - totaling up to about a 2 year’s worth of antibiotics. At about 15, I had EBV (epstein barr) very badly, followed by chicken-pox a few years later, and years of CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome) to follow. I was always battling digestive issues, colds, sinus infections, etc.. But having/"treating" Lyme's disease caused a multitude of other issues to follow/"treat," including severe ulcers, mal-absorption, IBS, severe allergies/asthma, rheumatoid arthritis, etc... which all became worse as I grew older. At one point, I was taking lupus medications for my RA because my inflammation was so bad. (God, in hindsight, my body was just screaming I AM ACIDIC, MY LYMPHATIC/DIGESTIVE SYSTEM IS CLOGGED, AND I HAVE AN EBV OVERLOAD!) Not to mention, all of these conditions were accompanied by years worth (from about age 15-25) of mystery symptoms:
hot flashes / sweating
enlarged lymph nodes
muscle spasms & sciatica
dizzy spells / vertigo
nerve & joint pain
severe stomach pains
severe, chronic migraines
… and so on ….
I haven’t even touched on the mental illness; that’s something that has been right alongside me my entire life, and my biggest battles to date. I still struggle with / working my way through C-PTSD and unresolved traumas, as a highly sensitive person (HSP) & empath, too. With all the physical ailments, I was always fighting some type of depression, anxiety/panic… Growing up, I was diagnosed (labeled) and treated for OCD, generalized anxiety disorder, and depression. During my teens I was also diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder (more labels), and struggled with suicidal ideations and self harm. Being in a long-term abusive relationship, amongst toxic people, did not help my mental or physical illnesses either, thats for sure. Consistently being retraumatized by health, environment, people, etc...
I was on antidepressants and mood stabilizers for a few years (2015-2018?), xanax for well over a decade, admitted to crisis center a few times, along with many years of on/off antibiotics, in and out of hospitals, inhalers (roughly 20 years), steroids, stomach medications, lupus medication, and over the counter drugs. (I was also a heavy smoker-yikes!) Not to mention, 20+ years of vaccinations, including HPV, and yearly flu shots.
In my recent years, I've battled heart complications - including tachycardia & POTS, all part of dysautonomia - fainting, “auto-immune disease”, pre-cancerous moles, and neurological complications, vomiting, worsening nerve pain and migraines, and more. This was accompanied by debilitating panic attacks, which eventually would occur daily. These panic attacks started again with my heart diagnosis of Long QT, in late 2014, but it was unlike any other attacks I've had in past. It felt like my nervous system was being electrocuted and vibrating, and I would lose my sense of sight and hearing. My attacks were almost identical to my heart symptoms, which made matters worse. I was very ill and felt faint often, with extreme fatigue, and I had bizarre symptoms - all of which led me to my electrophysiologist's office. I was told without a defibrillator, my heart could stop because I could die suddenly with my "condition." During this time, I was struggling to finish schooling for Ultrasound, which I don't know how I did. I began to isolate myself because I was afraid I would faint or have a heart episode in public. August 2015, I had a permanent heart monitor / loop record, surgically implanted into my chest, to monitory the Long QT, my symptoms, and POTS. This was my "last hope," as I did not want to receive heart ablation surgery or a defibrillator. Already battling lifelong depression and anxiety, it all grew deeper, infiltrating my every thought like a cancer. I would shake uncontrollably. I became so sick - physically and mentally - that I became agoraphobic, suicidal (once again), and catatonic.
Might I add, one flu vaccine in particular that I had to get in fall of 2014 for my ultrasound (medical) school training, I strongly feel debilitated me. It really accelerated my downhill process, and was highly intoxicating. I received my "quadruple" strength hospital dose vaccine, and within 48 hours I was vomiting, achy, had severe vertigo and anxiety, and an adverse reaction - bump/rash - where the injection was. Ever since that shot, my health rapidly declined over the course of the next year. Here it goes...
By Fall of 2015, I was in the worst mental and physical conditions of my life.
** I would like to note, at this time I came off all pharmaceuticals as well, because I was tired of unpleasant side effects and felt no positive effects from them. THAT WAS ROUGH. ** My vision/vertigo had gotten so bad, I eventually found myself back at a neuro-oncologist’s office after 1 month of more medical testing. The verdict: LYME’S diagnosis, again. After many tests and brain scans, it was determined Lyme’s was affecting my neurological functioning; my motor skills at this point were slim to none, with such severe visual disturbances. BUT, to add more fuel to my fire, they discovered I had pituitary cyst/tumor (a gland located in the brain). I will never forget that day, November 5, 2015; The worst day of my life. When that doctor showed me the brain scans, told me I needed to schedule an appointment with a neurosurgeon for a possible tumor, and start IV treatments for lyme… I was also showing early signs of MS. I just lost it. My mom brought me to that appointment, and I let out such a shrill, bawling my eyes out for an hour in her lap. I just couldn’t take it anymore. YEARS of meds, vaccines, tests, trials, mystery symptoms, label after label. I was DONE! I was further told, once again, my terrible options; I could die from brain surgery and it would be a long recovery, but without brain surgery, I could have a stroke, go blind, or die. WHAT THE F***?!? Don't get me wrong - there are some doctors out there who truly know how to heal patients. But in my 24 out of 26 years, all my doctors did was poison me by suppressing true issues, chasing false labels, and telling me I could die. My only saving grace through out all of this was the endless support I received from my amazing chiropractor.
(I think of my strength now, and how it frustrates me hearing doctors give no means of prevention, and instilling pure fear with labels!)
I remember thinking back to that day and literally felt like I had NOTHING left to lose but to change my lifestyle, or kill myself. I was scheduled for a spinal tap on 11/11 (my birthday), and start IV ABX soon after, but I decided to cancel both, and take the holistic route. I don’t know HOW I found the strength to change, but I did. It was so hard because I was at a point where I was not functioning; I was bedridden, beyond exhausted, in a psychosis state, unemployed (thank god for the endless support of my boyfriend, Michael, mentally and financially), and I could barely speak and unable to drive. My nerves were shot, literally. My nervous system felt like it was vibrating, and I would get such heaviness in my solar plexus, as if someone was pulling me into the earth. I would get sick with everything I ate, and I was consumed by suicidal thoughts and panic attacks - the worst panic attacks of my life, that's if they were even panic attacks, debilitating more than anything else. At times this paralysis was so bad, I couldn't move for hours; my body would just tremor and I would be stuck with these dark thoughts. My nights were riddled with panic and nerve pain that felt like electricity through my veins. I couldn’t even look at anything because my vertigo and depth perception was so awful. My mind was so gone, I would just stare. My mom, god love her, would come by my house daily to make sure I was "alright." But, all this chaotic bulls**t is what awoken my soul. Somewhere inside me, I knew I had to fight for my damn life, HARD!
Suppressing the issues with toxic medications isn't the answer. It's about getting to the root cause of our toxic/viral/bacterial overload, which is a clogged lymphatic system, weak elimination systems, and acidosis (accumulation of acids from our foods, meds, vaccinations, products, etc).
November, 2015, after all my diagnoses', I switched to a plant-based diet overnight. At the time, it was difficult for me because of how mental and physically incapacitated I was. Plus my diet (at the time) consisted of all processed carbs, cheese, dairy, and junk. I rarely ate fruit, and I considered 5 pieces of microwaved broccoli to be my "serving" of veggies.
So the shift in that sense was rough for me, too. But, I found whatever strength I had left in me and ate all fruits during day, having a cooked/plant-based meal at night. (No salads, yet). I continued taking turmeric + B12, B Complex, along with some other supplements for another few months until I made another shift into Dr. Morse herbs end of June, 2016. To follow, I increased my fruits even more, minimized my cooked foods for healing purposes, always keeping it plant-based, and took a regime of herbs via dr. Morse. I also have done mini-fasts, intermittent fasting, and colonics. along with many individual herbal infusions, teas, tinctures.
To learn about my healing routine, click here, or go to "my healing routine" under "about me."
I am just still shocked and so emotional… to think of all the dark, up-hill battles I've fought over the years, I never thought I would make it this far, physically and emotionally. I am grateful to be healing from ALL of these conditions and symptoms, if not already healing most, thanks to fruit, plants, herbs, Dr. Morse, Dr. Greger, Arnold Ehret, Dr. Gulotta (chiropractor), acupuncture, energy work, and my inner strength. Plus the support of Michael, my friend, and my mom.
Since end of 2015, I've been eating a diet rich in living, raw fruits and veggies, plus still incorporate whole grains and legumes if I'm not actively detoxing. I eat mostly raw / gluten free, make fresh juices, drink smoothies, eat big salads, keep my [healthy] fats to a minimum, drink herbal teas, and still take my herbs.
I went from taking xanax, birth control, and antibiotics (on/off) for over a decade, inhalers most of my life, hospitals/doctors/tests, antidepressants and anti-psychotics, whatever medications I would take prescribed by doctors, plus a plethora of over the counter drugs ... to taking NOTHING but herbs and eating a plant-based diet, high in fruit. I still fight daily for my mental health, but I personally still prefer this lifestyle to medications. It's hard as hell, and people ask me at times still why I do not take anti-depressants or benzos. I personally do not wish to swap symptoms for side effects. I'm addressing the root of my issues so that I can HEAL, not TREAT myself.
I also cut out all toxic products in fall 2015 - soaps, shampoos, makeup, cleaners, etc... I'm so grateful to be able to do the smallest things again, such as read, play piano, drive, food shop, and so much more :)
I took a trip to Arizona (on business) with Michael, Nov 2016, which turned into the best experience of my life, for many reasons; I went from [a year prior] practically dying, riddled with mental and physical pain that left me bound to my bed ... to being able to TRAVEL again! I conquered so many fears, and won many, little victories, including exploring on my own, hiking a few miles, trying new things, and more! I remember climbing half-way up Bell Rock (vortex), and a wave of peace just came over me; I felt calm for the first time in 20+ years. It was such an emotional release - just crying my eyes out, but in a peaceful way. I was so overwhelmed with tranquility, and surrendering my anxiety, it was an astounding moment. I remember absorbing all the positive, healing energies, basking in the beauty surrounding me, and thinking, "I almost ended it... I could've possibly never seen ANY of this." Bliss. I will forever cherish Sedona.
I met a group of women in Arizona, too, (+ instagram friends) who I now consider my soul sisters, and I'm grateful for our loving bonds. I poured out so many emotions in Sedona at the Red Rocks / vortexes. Everything about that trip was filled with pure energy, love, courage, faith, perseverance, beauty, and strength. Plus, it meant the world to me, coming from where I was just months prior. I still have healing to do, yes. But as the saying goes,
"The poison leaves bit by bit,
not all at once.
Be patient. You are healing."
So much awakening and soul searching has taken place over the last year of my life. I always tell people, especially in darkness, if you feel like you’re fighting an up-hill battle, keep going, because eventually you’ll look back at all your hard climbing and realize you’re on top of a mountain!!!
You can follow my journey + learn how you, too, can heal on my website/blog, Instagram, and Facebook @ClementineCrossing! Publicly sharing my personal battle isn't easy, but I view this as a cathartic part of healing, and want to reach out to others who are struggling.